Tonight I bought a cool shirt that says “FISH AND CHIP”, with a heart with the American flag in it. HA! It’s got long sleeves so it’s perfect for the weather. I wore it, and took some of the most hilarious purikura I’ve ever taken.

Purikura is short for Purinto Kurabu (Print Club). It’s a magical photobooth where you choose from a zillion different frames and styles, take about 8 photos, pick the best ones, and then step into another little booth to decorate them with doodles and stamps and backgrounds and all sorts of crazy things. Then you print them out and cut them up and stick them on things!!

Check out this crazy page for one girl’s example of her purikura.

If you ever visit me in Japan (I’m looking at YOU, family!) we will take purikura.

Purikura is super fun, and I don’t know why I don’t do it more often. OH WAIT YES I DO. It’s because I never think to, and when I do, I’m usually by myself. There is a kind of idea… that doing purikura by yourself, and having a picture album full of pictures of yourself alone is kind of a sad thing. Well yeah, but it’s also good to just take a photo by yourself… I get to take excellent series photos, and can make all the decisions about poses and decoration.

And then I get to keep all the photos, too (except for the ones I give away). I thought it would be funny recently to “attack” someone with purikura, and so I took a series by myself and then left them for this person to find (Ok, it’s my gentleman friend. HA! I love saying that). The first set I took was a little disjointed, but the ones I took tonight tell a funny story. I can’t wait to use them.

Now, I have a lot of funny ideas for purikura photo series. I need to get a stuffed dog for the next one, and write a little story line that can be done in 4-6 photos.

Hurr hurr hurr.

Let’s see. Today, I taught at Rogakko, and it was awesome. I did arts and crafts all day, with the 2-3 nensei in Jr. High (8th/9th graders), and the 5/6 nensei in elementary school. We made paper pumpkins and talked about Halloween and decorated a Christmas tree with Halloween cutouts. HAHA! I also had kids finish up their Halloween mobiles and paper maché pumpkins.

Lunch was a delicious piece of fish with skin on. At first it looked dry, but when you bit in, it was sweet and fishy and just the right amount of juicy. MMMMM. Couple that with a bowl of rice, miso soup, and a carton of milk, and you have a perfect lunch. WAY TO GO, JAPAN.

Seriously, I love the food here so much. I can’t believe the things I eat, but it’s soooo good.

The rest of the day I spent studying and preparing for classes. Tomorrow and Thursday, I have no class because of exams. Study party! If I was really smart, I’d take a day off and clean or go get my re-entry permit, or do something productive. But actually, I think that I have a day off coming up soon… a substitute holiday for a weekend I’ll be “working” (going to the school festival. Heck yeah!).

My English club is having a Halloween party on Friday, and on Friday night, I’m heading out west. Saturday morning, we’ll drive even more west, rent bikes, and bike for something like 70 kilometers across the bridge/island system that gets you from Shikoku to Hiroshima prefecture. Oh my yes. They say it’s a 4-7 hour trip one way. I’m super excited, despite having no “serious” bike experience.

I mean, I ride a mamachari. It only has one gear. A mamachari is a “Mama Chariot”, the bike with the big honkin’ basket in the front, and the really 1950’s design. It is the bicycle version of a people carrier, because you can put at least 2 kid seats on it, or put your friend on the back shelf bit (if you are lucky enough to have a shelf on the back). I feel like I should be wearing penny loafers and a pleated skirt when I ride mine. OH WAIT. That is what all students wear every day (and they ride mamacharis). Yup, pretty perfect, Japan.

That’s my days lately. And now, to the store to get potatoes for potato soup!!!

Man oh man, it’s all new kinds of hot now.

I did turn on my air-con because I’ve been at home during the day and really do need it. Ah well. It had to happen sometime.

Today is a matsuri down in Komatsushima, “Harbor Festival”. I don’t know if I want to go, but I think I’m gonna anyway… the issue is the heat, and the fact that I’m not so excited to be around a bunch of people. I’m not even that excited to be around my friends, to tell God’s honest truth.

The other night I went with the Kiwi to a charity music concert at P’s (a bar). We were two of maybe 6 foreigners there, and we wound up sitting and chatting up this Japanese woman for over 2 hours. It’s fun, and really cool to be able to sit and chat in another language but oh my gosh is it exhausting after a while!!

…and I’m starting to feel that exhaustion around people who speak English. Sometimes, when people just aren’t traveling down the same mental or linguistic or intellectual or emotional line that you are, it’s very tiring to hang out with them, and to keep things going.

Maybe I’ve mentioned this before, maybe not, but the thing they really don’t explain here is the loneliness that comes about. Sure, I have a good number of friends, and even more acquaintances, but… there is such a loneliness none the less. It’s more base, and can be covered up with activity, parties, coffee dates, and so on.

Note that I say “covered up”, not “dealt with”.

I mean, it’s fine. It’s all totally fine, and I’m not going to crash and burn, but going along like that is like running and engine, eventually it’ll run down and can’t go anymore until it gets a tune-up and the (immediate) issue is addressed (or at least the fan belt is replaced, or the gas replenished) and then it goes again.

Like I said, I’m fine.

And I’m going to the festival, I’m not wussing out and staying inside all day (much as that is sort of appealing, it’s also a completely revolting idea).

Well, the musical is over. My weekend life for the past couple of months is completed.

We did the last show of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” in an old kabuki theater. It was an amazing audience, filled to the second level and ready to clap and laugh at all the jokes and dances. As soon as they applauded for the opening dance, I had a giant grin on my face that couldn’t be wiped away.

We followed the performance with cleaning, elated. Then drove the winding roads up to the top of a mountain, where we made merry in cabins and on the mountainside on giant jungle-gyms.

I’m exhausted. I spent all my energy at the musical, and then didn’t get enough sleep. My back aches from the floor, and my head hurts. It’s a raining day. When we woke up, the light was clean and the air was fresh. Eating donuts, we cleaned the cabins and drove down the mountain.

It’s beautiful, having no pressure for a day. To be able to relax in an onsen, enjoying the hot water and the cool breeze, then linger over noodles and rice and tea while discussing religion. then to drive home, taking 2 hours and not worrying.

It’s spring, so we drive with the windows down. At night, with the breeze blowing, car humming, music playing, don’t drive me home just yet. Let me enjoy this a little longer.

Back in the city, the rain didn’t begin until I had climbed halfway up the Bizan. I walked across the mountainside under the trees, listening to the rain and taking photos. Coming home, I got soaked. Now I’m in bed, watching the spring Sumo tournament in Osaka. The Best Dressed ALT and I are texting about the sumo matches, and I am warm and sleepy. It’s only 5:30.

This musical has been great. I’ve made new friends, and they’re pretty amazing. We’ve had adventures, made plans.

The other day, I was riding around in the naka (countryside) with the Shogakko Queen, and we remarked to each other how really excellent Tokushima is. It’s true. Tokushima is excellent. We’re lucky to be here. I love being here.

Well my goodness. I’m very sorry about lack of updates and especially lack of pictures!

That will change, I promise, when this musical is over. On Monday, I slept in until 10 am. I could have wept, it was so amazing. I didn’t even live it up the night before, just did my regular routine and then slept the sleep of the innocent. Or at least, the sleep of those who don’t have work or rehearsal in the morning.

The best part of every day is when I come home, take off my work clothes, and put on my pajamas. It doesn’t matter if I’m going to put regular clothes on again in a moment, for that time I’m in my pajamas, everything is OK.

Today my Japanese Teacher, W-sensei, took me out for dinner. He also took a lady from Shanghai who works at the International Office, Shi-san. We feasted on tempura and yakitori and sushi and sake. An older (though not as old as W-Sensei) man joined us for beer and conversation.

When we left, Shi-san said to me, “へんのにほんじんですが”。”Strange Japanese people”.

Maybe. But they’re very kind, and I had a nice time.

During my lesson, W-Sensei told me a little about where he was born. In the south of Tokushima, where there are mountains. He lived 10 kilometers from the sea, and didn’t see it until he was 10 years old.

W-Sensei is in his 70s. He saw World War 2, and ate mountain birds when there was no meat to be had. He saw the world change. Now he is retired. Now he sees a new world, and teachers his language to fresh-faced punks who don’t know up from down, like me. People who haven’t seen the world, and are too connected to see properly.

It made me a little sad, listening to his stories. His life is sung out in pieces to students. His village is probably swallowed up by the mountain.

I saw someone differently today, for the first time, and I don’t know what to do with that feeling.

A few things from the past week:

Simone and I rode the train home from Ishii after the Burn’s Poetry Supper. Getting into Tokushima, Simone had to switch trains, so we listened to the train announcements as we were pulling into the station, and were able to figure out which platform she had to run to in order to catch her train.

When we first came here, we frantically counted the stops on a map. Now, we can listen to announcements in Japanese and understand the general information.

As per the request of the musical folks, I went and got contact lenses, on the 3^rd floor of the train station, of all places. With extraordinarily broken Japanese and English, I was able to have an eye exam and buy some contact lenses.

To have a proper prescription is amazing. With fuzzy glasses for the past 2 years, I forgot that the world actually is sharper than it had been appearing. It was like seeing all of Tokushima for the first time.

When Russ lost his glasses while swimming in the Indian Ocean, he had to buy a new set, and let us try them on. Wearing his glasses was like a roller-coaster ride, suddenly things were too sharp, the ground was far away, the dirt path we walked curved unnaturally.

With my contacts, it felt very much like that. Biking to work, I thought I might be riding a Salvador Dali elephant, with tall crazy legs. In bicycle form, naturally. The ground was simply too far away. I love looking around me. I love reading things, seeing far-away details, and not worrying about rain clouding my vision.

On Wednesday, I saw Quantum of Solace. I must say, the opening credit sequences from QoS and Casino Royale are quite lovely.

Also, the influenza (Japanese: infuruenza) is running rampant across Japan. Schoolchildren are out in droves, classes are cancelled, half my kids are wearing masks. I’ve been drinking lots of Vitamin C drinks. I think this, and my warm coat, cancel the fact that I am biking to work in the cold and damp every day.

Add to that the fact that I am working with high-schoolers and not grubby Shogakko (elementary school) kids, I think I might be able to squeak through this unscathed.

Love and peace,

emily

A lot has been going on! Sorry I haven’t been keeping up to date. Writing will follow on the subject of orphans, shopping, classes, and so on. But today, I just have two things to say.

Thing one: I went to Kyoto! It was amazing. Since my post about that has quite a few photos, I’m putting it on a separate page. View part 1 here (part 2 to follow).

Thing two:  Today is my last day in Tokushima this year. And let me tell you, it’s a beautiful balmy spring day. It’s 11 degrees C (that 51 F), clear blue skies, and the air is so nice and fresh you just want to shake the hand of the plants that produced it.

I understand that today at home it’s a hilarious 12 degrees F.

See you soon!

The last time I went to the dentist was a total wash.

I was a sophmore in college, and had a horrible popping pain in my jaw. I did some research and concluded that I should seek professional help. Professional help let me down. The dentist sat me in the dentist chair, told me there was nothing he could do, and charged me $30.

Three and a half months ago, the most excruciating physical pain I have ever felt in my life began. One of my teeth had broken, all the way down to the nerve. It hurt when I ate. It hurt when I didn’t eat. It hurt for basically no reason at all, simply because it was an exposed nerve, and that’s what exposed nerves do.

I did nothing. I put up with it. I didn’t take any medication, I didn’t seek any help. I brushed and kept food away from it. Eventually, the pain dulled and faded. It was replaced with a lesser pain whenever food or pressure or cold or sweet came into contact with it.

Weirdly enough, I can easily think of the positives that came from the whole thing. For instance, I stopped eating sweets and drinking sweet soda. I paid much more attention to the rest of my teeth. My pain threshold is significantly higher.

But eventually, I decided that enough was enough, and I should do something. My JTE made an appointment with her doctor, and I got lost and it was a complete fiasco and ultimately the day that I finally cracked and had a culture shock breakdown.

I got directions to another English-speaking dentist, but I never got up the nerve to make an appointment.

Last night, when dropping off a friend after A Very JET Thanksgiving, I noticed the dentist, as it was right next to her apartment. It had a happy penguin sign on the door.

Today, I thought, “I know exactly where it is, I basically have no excuse not to go down there an make an appointment, despite my fear and loathing of dentists”. So after school, essentially on a whim, I went.

If my mindset had been anything other than a whim, I would not have gone. Planning to go to the dentist is terrifying. Going with a happy, “oh gosh why not” attitude is easier.

So I went. The nurse was nice to me, and filled out my forms in Japanese. Only the head dentist spoke English, but that was ok. I sat in the chair and explained the problem. They all looked at my mouth. They all nodded wisely.

“You need a root canal.”

And really, there was no arguing with that. I needed a root canal. And so I got a root canal. I also got a lot of anesthesia. It was really one of those “Well, this is happening now I guess” experiences.

It was fast, painless, and cheap. I’m going back on Thursday for… a filling, I guess.

Thanks, Japan.

It’s fun when I am on the weekend, and I talk to people back home, and they are still on Friday. HAHA, I beat you!

But sadly, I have to face Monday first. It’s a trade-off, I suppose.

Yesterday I was waiting at the station to go get MEXICAN FOOD. While waiting, I bought a pair of earrings that look like Kewpie dolls, a scarf that looks like an olive, and a bag that looks like it was made out of a couch. (It’s better than it sounds, I promise).

Then we drove to Naruto, to eat MEXICAN FOOD. Made by a real live hispanic man from LA. I ate more than I thought I possibly could, due most likely to the fact that I hadn’t eaten much that day. I had a salad, supreme nachos, and a beef burrito. I drank a Dr. Pepper. Every bite was AMAZING!

I felt revitalized by Mexican food in Japan. Why not?

Now I am doing productive things, such as laundry and cleaning. I am up early because the neighbors decided to begin yelling in high-pitched lady voices at 5:30 in the morning. I thought my neighbor was a man. Maybe his lady-friend was over. She sounded very angry.

It’s 10:45 now, of course, so I should quit being annoyed and move on.

Actually, I HAVE stopped being annoyed.

Japan is turning out some pleasing fall colors. I’d like to go inland to the hills and the valleys and the ancient rope bridges. Apparently, there are very lovely fall views in that area.

In my life, I’ve experienced disillusionment. I’ve had ideals about people, relationships, endings of books, and places. And I’ve had a lot of those ideals crushed.

Something I’ve learned is that having my ideals and fantasies broken isn’t just the loss of innocence, but rather proof of the fact that I still have a sort of innocence.
Maybe innocence isn’t the right word. My notions about what life would be like in Japan, for instance, were not born just from innocence, but from lack of experience. Intellectually, I knew, but from experience, I didn’t know.

Also, I knew that I didn’t know. I knew coming here that there was going to be a lot that I would have to figure out, and unlearn. A lot of my notions about how people should be, how groups should function, how schools should teach, and how life should be lived have been questioned. Some of those, in my mind, have somewhat objective answers. What is best for a human? What is best for a society of people (who have been raised a certain way)?

And some of those are subjective. What is best for me? What is the best way for me to teach, given my background and the background of the folks I’m teaching? How should I live? Can I live this way or that way, and be happy? How much of my own foolish hopes should I sacrifice for others, and how much of reality should be sacrificed in the face of foolish hopes?

That’s sort of serious. But I’m thinking about it, as I think about what to do in the next month, year, and so on.

But recently, I had two somewhat foolish ideals broken.

One of them happened today, which is why I thought of all this.

1. Marzipan

Do you know what marzipan is? I didn’t. For years, I lived without knowing what marzipan was. I had seen it, surely, but it had never been identified. To me, marzipan was a word in a book. It conjured up images of sugar cakes with artsy toppings, Marie Antoinette style sweets, the kind of fanciful desserts that may or may not come to life and grant you wishes.

I decided, eventually, that I never wanted to see marzipan. I was pretty sure that even if marzipan was really great, it would never live up to my expectations.

One day, as a friend and I were driving to the beach in Anan, she offered me a square of gum. Ooo, gum.

“Yeah, I thought it was gum when I bought it,” she said as I popped it in my mouth, “But then, surprise, it was marzipan. Eat a bunch, I don’t really want it.”

I froze in the act of biting down. I am not kidding you either, as I bit down on marzipan for the first time, I broke a tooth. This is really stupid, because marzipan is like a soft taffy, but I guess my teeth are really weak. Also, I was shocked.

Marzipan turned out to be a little cube of off-white soft sweet. I didn’t say anything as I slowly finished eating it. It was a good taste, actually, but it still tasted like disappointment.

1. Macaroons

Unlike marzipan, I was introduced to macaroons as an image, not a word.

These are macaroons, if you haven’t ever seen one:

1. Pierre Herme’s box of Macaroons, 2. * Macaroons., 3. Macaroons ~, 4. Vanilla macaron

When I saw these, I was pretty sure that only fabulous Parisians, fashionistas, fairy princesses, and whimsical lady photographers and part-time picnickers ever ate macaroons. I’m serious. Look at them, for heaven’s sake. That is not the color of food. Purple is not a food.

But they do look delicious, don’t they?

I never ate a macaroon until today. For one, I didn’t know where to get one. For two, I didn’t want to eat one. They tasted fabulous in my imagination, and I was content to let them remain in the gloved fingers of fabulous and whimsical young women.

Even thought I secretly wanted to be one of those fabulous and whimsical women. You know, the ones who live in a loft in Rome, came from the plains of North America, have offbeat but charming fashion-sense, and ride scooters wearing retro goggles.

Well, today I gave an interview to a grad student studying ESL teaching in Japan. As a Thank-You gift, she sent a bag of mini macaroons to my supervisor and myself.

I thought about it for a while before eating mine. I took it out of the little packet and sniffed it experimentally. It was pink, and smelled appropriate. The top was hard, like I imagined. I sniffed it again. My supervisor started laughing at me.

“Oh, what the heck,” I thought, and took a bite.

I won’t go into what I had imagined vs. what actually happened. But have you ever read a book where something turns to sand or sawdust in a character’s mouth? That actually happened. I sat at my desk with sand in my mouth.

Oh, macaroons.

You were so much better in my dreams.

It’s the 3-day weekend!

In honor of having 3 days of play, Tanuki Matsuri (Raccoon-dog Festival) set itself up in the park by my house. Have I mentioned how much I love this park? It’s always full of crazy stuff. Yesterday there were two choirs gathered on the riverbanks, practicing scales. The day before that, my students were part of the marching band (that did not march) and the ballet performances. It was also hot enough out to justify eating kakigori (shaved ice).

Yesterday, I went to a dinner party at a teacher’s house, at noon.
I wound up staying for 9 hours, eating food and chatting with people. We talked in Japanese and English while the kids screamed and ran around upstairs. We listened to to Katy Perry and Norah Jones and referenced The Crocodile Hunter
I ate a steak roast and lamb.
When I thought about how utterly delicious that meat was, I realized that it had been about 90 days since I’d eaten any meat except for fish, and the most processed of chickens.
This was real meat. Cooked on a real live western-style gas deck grill.

SO delicious.
I talked with kids, waved at toddlers, discussed Canada, played with hamsters, ate homemade donuts. YAY DONUTS!
It was really nice to be invited into someone’s house.
Partially because I am always super curious about how Japanese houses will look on the inside.
And partially because it felt really good to be included in a gathering. Not as a token foreigner, not as an attempt to show off Japan, but just because you’re liked and someone wants to be nice to you.

Thanks, sensei!

In other news, that class that I solo-taught last week? It went splendidly. Granted, the English level was quite high, but..
but…
I stood in front of a class and they listened to me, and did what I said, because I was the teacher.
Thanks, 104 class!

If God had bestowed upon humans something along the lines of a ruff of feathers, I would puff mine up with pride and happiness.

Instead, I just become rather pink and smiley.